14 death rattles — Jeffrey Denny “You know it, I know it, and the American people know it.” Dan Aykroyd’s 1990s impression of Bob Dole on Saturday Night Live might be remembered more than anything the late Senate Majority Leader and GOP presidential nominee actually said. Parody or not, it perfectly captures the obvious…

Bringing America together again — Jeffrey Denny Could Jeff Bezos be the next president of the United States? Who Better Than Bezos® to unite our divided states? Farfetched? Imagine this: You’re at a family picnic. Uncles and cousins are fighting over Trump, J6, crime, transgender, cancel culture and wokism. You ting your beer bottle for…

Right in that there Bible — Jeffrey Denny Woke woke woke woke woke woke woke. Sounds like a duck with a broke quacker. A hilarious joke you’d hear on “Gutfeld!,” Fox’s “king of late-night comedy.” But Republicans can’t get enough of woke. They see it everywhere. Woke candy. Woke Lego. Woke corporations. Woke troops. Woke nongender…

It’s where you least expect it! — Jeffrey Denny “Stopping communism.” This was cited as a top achievement of Matt Schlapp, head of the Conservative Political Action Conference, whose annual gala just wrapped up across the Potomac from Washington, DC. Schlapp’s CPAC headliners included Donald Trump, presidential wannabees Niki Haley and Mike Pompeo, and election deniers Mike…

Explains everything — Jeffrey Denny Liberal discomfort with meritocracy has backfired. We can’t judge anyone for anything anymore. Like when people are downright stupid. It’s not their fault. So it’s hateful to call stupids stupid. But since hateful stupids have so much political power now, and democracy is all about holding power…

Don’t let the door hit ’em where the Good Lord split ‘em — Jeffrey Denny “We need a national divorce.” Thus spake the Voice of Real America, U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-MAGA). In a tweet heard ‘round the media, as Greene intended in grasping for attention and money, she declared, “We need to separate by red states and blue states and shrink…

Humor or hate? — Jeffrey Denny Is “conservative comedy” an oxymoron? Or just moronic? When I was in school, an English teacher said my attempts at humor were “sophomoric.” “What did you expect?” I shot back. “I’m a sophomore.” The class peed itself laughing. Literally. I didn’t just own my teacher — I mopped…

How can you spot them? — Jeffrey Denny Remember the old “limousine liberals”? The slur was coined not by a Republican, but a 1969 New York City Democratic mayoral primary candidate from the Bronx, Mario Procaccino, to insult his Liberal Party opponent, John Lindsey. Procaccino characterized “what he and his largely white ethnic following from the…

Whatever happened to the values party? — Dear Miss Manners: The other night I was doing my job as President of the United States by delivering the annual State of the Union address. As usual, it was a hallowed American occasion, held in the House Chambers before 535 Senators and Representatives gathered under the U.S. Capitol dome…