America: Be more in ‘24
Resolve to resolve
Jeffrey Denny
Internet results are in: Everyone says 2023 was the worst year in human history.
Not 536, when volcanic ash cast our planet into darkness and millions starved as crops failed.
Not 1329, when the Black Death bubonic plague killed half of Europe.
Not 1918, the last global pandemic that killed 675,000 Americans.
Not 1929 and the Great Depression years. Also not during the World Wars, or after when the Cold War threatened global nuclear annihilation. And not 2001 when, you know, 9–11.
Not 2016, when God sent his Second Born to proclaim good news to the poor about “American carnage” and then made it so.
Not even 2020, when Covid hit and God’s Second Born boosted the American death toll to 1.2 million to punish mostly the pious.
“Three-quarters of Republicans say 2023 was a bad or terrible year for the country,” a YouGov poll found (although 69% said it was ok, good or even great for them personally).
2023 was “An Exhausting Year in (and Out of) the Office,” a New Yorker writer complains for his fellow elite Millennial “knowledge workers” who are “worn out” and “need a fresh start.” The wage-slave baristas who serve their quad venti half caf breve no foam with whip two Splenda stirred skinny three pump peppermint mocha can’t possibly be more exhausted or deserve more to say “can’t even.”
“Even surviving 2023 is an accomplishment in itself,” whines a LinkedIn post by Supporting Emerging Leaders@Harvard (“designed for rising U.S. and international leaders looking to take their career to the next level”). Adding, “It’s okay if the only thing you did this year was get through it.”
The @Harvard group posted this before things got worse at Harvard. Depending on the context, of course, such as woke student antisemitism rivaling the Charlottesville neo-Nazi rally.
What about regular America?
From a quick search, it turns out 2023 was annus horribilis for border issues … the economy … consumer sentiment … stocks and bonds … world peace … weather … crime … political division … Tay Tay and haters … movies, theater, music, books, sports, and culture altogether … video games and gamers … tennis due to Pickleball … the utter collapse of society … Trump and impending dictatorship and revenge … life itself …and whatever terrifying, traumatizing, deeply private thing that happened to me that I posted for everyone to support me.
Altogether, 2023 — like many terrible years — failed to deliver the wonderful life that every American deserves.
But our nation is all about overcoming adversity. These New Year’s Resolutions are guaranteed to make America even greater than great:
Ignore Gen Z jargon
From glow-up to dank, drip, salty, no cap, spill tea, big yikes or whatevs, trying to keep up with, or worse, utter the latest idiotic idiom invented virtually every day by some rando douche makes you sheesh, cheugy, suss, extra and not slaps, whether you’re Zoomer, Boomer, or human.
While I’m being extra, could we yeet the cringy acronyms starting with YMMV, ELI5, PEBKAC, ICYMI, IIRC, IMHO, AFAIK, TL;DR, FTFY and TFW? Anyone who refuses should FOFF.
Stop following trends
Trending is just a trending word for fads. Which now have shorter shelf lives than Family Dollar bananas.
Remember in January 2023 when “Good Morning America” reported “Remember ‘quiet quitting’? ‘Quiet hiring’ is the new workplace trend of 2023.” Was it?
The Washington Post has always been cheugy, which made it great with the best old-timey journalism about government, politics, politicians, and our democracy.
But today’s struggling WaPo grasps to be trendy for Gen Z that doesn’t read newspapers or care about journalism whatsoever as it recently declared: “Fun is dead. It’s become emphatic, exhausting, scheduled, hyped, forced and performative.”
Naturally, the fun click-baity piece relied on a Gen Z social media marketing manager and DJ, who said, “I feel like I should be having more fun than I’m actually having. There are expectations of what I want people to believe that my life is like rather than what my life is actually like.”
She hired a “fun coach” — a new growth sector in the Influencer Industrial Complex — on how to pursue “intentional fun.”
Whatevs. WaPo is far from alone in trending trends. Influencing trends has been around since God Himself wrote the Holy Bible. The trend influencing snake keeps swallowing its tail faster and more ridiculously as it follows the pattern that must be working because it continues: Brand it. Hype it. Monetize it. Counter-brand it, repeat.
Point: Ignore trends by trend writers — they’re just workers grasping for a living like all of us.
Also, note to “influencers”: FOFF.
Quit whining about the economy
Unless you’re truly struggling to make ends meet, or homeless, or left behind even in the best economy.
Certainly not if you’re a financially secure Republican voter or millionaire secret donor, no matter how Fox and The Wall Street Journal spin negative to confirm audience bias for audience and money.
Especially while Republicans cash in on the Bidenomic fundamentals of robust job market, falling rates, rising GDP, and record Dow.
Also, if Bidenomics is so horrible, why are gas prices plummeting? Why does consumer spending — even on travel, lodging, restaurants and other nonessentials and luxuries — keep breaking all records?
How did the horrible Bidenomics manage to lift the nation out of the Covid recession that began under Trump? Then manage inflation arising from the economy-rescuing Covid emergency stimulus? Then defy Republican warnings (i.e., hopes) of a major recession heading into the 2024 elections? No less than The Wall Street Journal conceded, “Where’s the Recession We Were Promised?”
Are Republicans attacking Biden on the economy just to be political? Say it ain’t so!
Question your media
Ask if your news and views come from the #1 cable news channel. You know, the one featuring elite educated millionaire TV personalities that admitted they lie yet straight-face declare they tell the only trusted truth to poor uneducated Americans?
Or ask if your news and views come from real, objective, fact-based, hard-digging, low-paid, old-school shoe-leather journalism. You know, the kind that’s dying because it serves democracy versus politically funded opinionating “journalism” that cares more about money than democracy?
Kill the “personal branding”
Unless your personal brand is Phony, selling more sizzle than steak because your work can’t speak for itself and your bosses or colleagues won’t speak for you.
I get the tragic advice to stand out in the escalating tower of LinkedIn personal branding babble and the broken, self-defeating talent recruitment process that, like U2, still hasn’t found what it’s looking for.
But personal branding reeks of used-car salesman pitching an old Tesla with murderous Autopilot.
Wake up, kids, and smell the Trump
When it comes to protecting the nation they love more than the Socialist Democrats do, Republicans today are a bigger lost cause than the South fighting for slavery. Sorry, “fighting for freedom from government.”
“Donald Trump is dominating the polls ahead of the Iowa caucuses, with a new 538 poll showing him more than 30 points ahead of his rivals.” — ABC News.
“Three years after the Jan. 6 attack, Republicans are more sympathetic to those who stormed the U.S. Capitol and more likely to absolve Donald Trump of responsibility for the attack than they were in 2021.” — Washington Post, citing a Dec. 14–18 poll.
Apparently, even reasonable, respectable Republicans that Trump and MAGAs smear as RINOs are willing to throw America under the bus for tax and regulation breaks, i.e., more dough and screwing the hoi polloi.
Fortunately, our youth will come to America’s rescue.
As we see among our best, brightest and future leaders on elite college campuses, young people are fired up and ready to fight for their causes. Reproductive freedom. Climate. Social justice. DEI. Religious and ethnic hate except for antisemitism.
So of course, the kids are rising up to defeat Trump, right?
Um:
“Younger voters help boost Trump’s edge over Biden in latest Fox Survey … Forty-one percent of respondents under 30 said they’d vote for Trump in the 2024 general election.” — Fox News
“Young progressives have been disappointed that Biden has not taken more action on priorities such as climate change and voting rights.” — The Hill, citing a Dec. 26–29 USA Today/Suffolk University survey. Even as Biden is accused to tipping too far left.
“Elections are a valuable opportunity for young people across the country to make their voices heard, support action on issues they care about, and grow as active voters and leaders in our democracy,” says Tufts University. But the youth vote typically is in the low 20% compared to 40–70% for their parents and grandparents who fund their college.
So if Trump triumphantly returns to the White House to dictate and revenge, then as the Great Troubadour said, “look out kid, it’s something you did; God knows when but you’re doin’ it again.”
Happy New Year? Big yikes. TNTL. SSDD.
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.
