Forgive me, Trumpers, for I have sinned.
For over five years I’ve been criticizing, questioning, satirizing, and even trying to open my heart and mind to understand the hard-core Trump base — the MAGAs.
Why? Because I’m a die-hard patriot. I care deeply about America. I’ve spent most of my career in public service, starting with a military stint.
I believe it’s my citizen duty to do what I can to make America better. Which entails more than sitting in a TV chair yelling at cable news that feeds outrage addiction for ratings and money.
In fact, I’m ashamed to say, I never watch cable news.
Nevertheless, as a patriotic citizen, my greatest fear for America is the MAGA uprising.
Whatever their personal plights or proclivities, this distinct minority, maybe 20% of America, now controls the Republican Party. And hence, the U.S. Congress through the gerrymander and filibuster; the U.S. Supreme Court; most of the states; and (working on it) our communities to fight the Democrat Socialist CRT, LGBTQ+, ACT, SAT, PSAT, LSAT and other liberal acronym indoctrination of our innocent children.
America is now MAGA Nation.
They’re here, they’re beard, get used to it.
MAGAs fought hard and won. Like the proverbial dog, they caught the car.
The expected 2022 midterm Republican sweep and control of Congress will cement MAGA domination of America.
Props to MAGAs. They should be proud of their historic achievement and minority control. They should use their power to make America greater as they say. Not drag American down to its meanest, angriest, most manipulatable and delusional dregs swallowing and spreading obvious misinformation and disinformation and sending social media hate and anonymous death threats to people they disagree with.
MAGA control might be ok if they were the educated, enlightened, civic-minded people Thomas Jefferson and fellow Founders believed would be capable of democratic self-government.
But MAGAs hate the educated, enlightened and civic-minded. They hate government, even when it tries to save their lives from a pandemic. They’d rather die stupidly for freedom.
MAGAs hate people like me and other fellow Americans who aren’t like them. They also hate other Americans who demand the rights that MAGAs have.
MAGAs seem to hate democracy itself — witness their hate for voting rights, the free press, and our Constitutional rule of law and checks on presidential power when they hate the outcome.
MAGAs indeed don’t care about presidential high crimes and misdemeanors. You know, abuse of power, obstruction of Congress, and incitement of insurrection. MAGAs love their former president even more for his impeachment offenses and forced Republican politicians to exonerate him.
Defense, dismissal, aid and comfort, or outright support for violent insurrection to overthrow our duly elected government by force, with attempts to hunt down the Speaker of the House and cries to hang the president’s own loyal vice president, don’t seem like what our Founders had in mind for our democracy being a beacon for the world.
Whatever you say about MAGAs, they can whatabout how the liberals are worse. As if it’s a race to the bottom to define deviancy down, as Pat Moynihan coined.
All that said, like a beach swimmer caught in a rip tide, I need to stop fighting and go with the current.
I don’t need the Weather Channel to know which way the wind blows. Unlike the old Tareyton cigarette ads, I’d rather switch than fight.
That’s right: I’m converting to MAGAism.
If MAGAs need to bring America down to their level, governed by proud ignorance, hate and resentment, so be it, it is what it is, I’m in.
I sure don’t need MAGA patriot militias rounding up and sending even moderate Democrats like me to Trump MAGA Camps™.
Granted, they’re absolutely the best, most luxurious anti-Socialist reeducation resorts. They feature deluxe spa waterboarding to confess hate for America, Clockwork Orange Movie Nights featuring Tucker Carlson, and Second Amendment training to stand your ground, shoot first and ask questions later.
As a new MAGA, I need to practice what I believe and need to say.
The 2020 election was definitely stolen from Trump.
There was something fishy going on. There’s no way Trump lost. That’s what people are saying and I believe it in my heart.
In fact there was widespread liberal voter fraud we need to crack down on. Start where Trump lost. Especially those crime-ridden BLM-Antifa Democrat cities that Fox showed are in flames even if they aren’t.
Trump and his people, politicians and media said the election was stolen. They wouldn’t lie. That’s what the libs do.
And don’t give me your so-called facts. I know Trump beat the libs and won. He’s the real President of America.
Don’t try to confuse me with your stupid Deep State liberal intellectual BS.
Like if Trump won reelection, which is true, he can’t run for a third term in 2024 under the 22nd Amendment of the Constitution.
I know the Constitution better than those smarty-pants Harvard lawyer libs! Besides, as president, Trump gets to define what the Constitution means for him.
Also, don’t give me your hooey that if the 2020 ballots were fraudulent against Trump, then they must also be fraudulent against all Republicans on the same ballot who won, including those repeating Trump’s election-fraud claims.
Whatever. You have your facts and I have mine. I believe what I believe. And that’s that.
The mainstream media are all America-hating Socialist liberal liars.
I know this because my TV is always tuned to Fox News.
As Fox reminds me all the time, they’re always for the God’s truth. Like Trump Truth Social and QAnon.
I don’t care that Fox slams its mainstream media competitors as liars for ratings and ad money. Or that as #1 in cable news for ten years, Fox is the mainstream media.
And I don’t care that Fox millionaires have lavish vacation homes in the Hamptons along with New York libs. Fox tells the truth I agree with.
I’m not racist!!!
Just because I support politicians who embrace White supremacists, deny ongoing racial inequity and injustice, want to censor teaching kids about our racial history, dog-whistle racial resentment, and oppose a highly qualified Black woman for the Supreme Court — I don’t have a racist bone in my body!
How dare you imply I’m racist! I’m a God-fearing Christian!
Russian President Vladimir Putin is a hero.
I know this because Trump hearts Putin and the libs hate Putin and whine about Putin’s slaughtering war crimes, death and destruction in Ukraine.
Our grandfathers who fought and died in WWII to defeat global domination by brutal fascist dictators and save America and the Free World were stupider than Trump. Our monuments to American service and sacrifice in WWII are complete liberal BS.
And the NATO Alliance and allied troops training and serving to preserve peace and security in Europe and prevent Russian hegemony and threatening America with another world war are not so great.
Forget the historic Transatlantic Alliance. America doesn’t need Europe. Europe is just a bunch of America-hating liberals.
Whatever President Trump and his people say is good enough for me.
Things are so confusing these days. I don’t know what or who to believe anymore. And thinking for myself independently and critically, weighing all sides of an issue, is hard and makes me sleepy.
It’s easier to just go with the MAGA flow and be a follower. But not like those lib sheeples!
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.