In this Trump house
A new sign of the times
Jeffrey Denny
Trump administration staffers are storming and occupying Washington, DC, like Russian troops in Ukraine.
They’re invading just in time for their compliant Republicans to slash $1 billion from the DC budget like they wouldn’t dare with Trump states with a similar number of citizens like the Dakotas, Alaska and Wyoming.
But the Trump appointees swarming DC like criminal immigrants will get to boast, “See? Trump was right! Washington is a dirty, crime-ridden horrible death trap shithouse.”
I’ve traveled America and seen plenty of Trump communities that the less charitable might describe as horrible shithouses. Places where the educated, privileged, elite Trumper staffers aren’t from and won’t visit except to fool the locals to vote for a Trump congressman in the midterms.
But we love how few of Trump’s 4,000 political appointees coming to DC will choose to live in our fantastic city.
We have too many “urban” people. Whites are minorities at 46% of the population. We celebrate LGBTQ+. We eat ethnic. We’re an immigrant sanctuary city (for now).
We also have a lot of foreigners, some from Trump’s “shithole” countries, since DC is the Ronald Reagan global city on the hill.
We’re quite literally diverse, equitable, and inclusive, but not from DEI commitments, values statements, or Maoish re-education programs. We’re just DEI by nature. It makes us vibrant, fun, and one of the most successful job- and wealth-creating economies on the planet.
But for Trumpers, DC — being 90% Democratic — is too rat-infested with “Radical Left Lunatics who have worked so hard to destroy our Country,” as Trump called millions of his fellow Americans.
So most Trumpers are likely to settle in the Virginia suburbs of DC that feature a more comfortable 63–73% Whites.
The few, the proud, the brave who choose to live in DC will suffer their overcoddling Fox-sodden parents calling them every day, worried if they’re surviving the muggers, carjackers, nonwhite gun murderers, and woke BLM Antifa rioters.
The parents feel their Trump kids would be safer with the violent J6 riot ringleaders like the Oath Keepers, Proud Boys, and armed self-appointed militias who attacked the U.S. Capitol and killed Blue Lives.
The parents will neither realize nor recognize that Republicans stripped DC’s gun control laws that our Blue Lives demanded to protect and serve the public from gun crimes.
But lo and behold, the Virginia suburbs are also pretty Blue, turning the mostly ruby Red Trumpy state into a soothing lavender.
Yet you don’t have to go more than a morning commute from DC to start seeing “Trump is my Lord and Savior” billboards.
In any case, as the invasive Trumpers resettle their stolen land to destroy it, Washington-area residents can expect them to mock our “in this house” progressive yard signs. Just as they mock Black, women, and immigrant lives, science to save lives, diversity of American lives, and justice for all lives.
Trumpers might even plant their own yard signs signaling their special form of virtue, like a registered sex offender having to post a “No Candy” sign on Halloween. Such as:
In this house, we believe:
White lives matter above all
Women’s rights begin and end with serving their men
Immigrants are probably illegal if they’re not White
Science is lies even if your children have to die
Love is between a man and a woman, even if she hates him
Diversity makes planes crash and our country weaker
Injustice to our Supreme Leader is injustice to all
Note to Trumpers who say, “Hey, where can I get one of these signs?” Either to trigger the libs or they believe them. Sorry, Amazon doesn’t have them. Yet.
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer
