Leaked draft of Trump-rejected concession speech
What the Deep State wanted him to say
Bigly defeated President Donald J. Trump refuses to concede that most Americans want to scrape him off their shoes.
Behind the scenes, meanwhile, an anonymous Trump White House Deep State staffer, seeking absolution for his mortal sins of serving Trump, drafted and leaked a Trump concession speech he would never deliver:
My fellow Americans:
And by “my fellow Americans” let me be perfectly clear, I don’t just mean my Trump Americans, the people I inspire to hate their fellow Americans who disagree with them.
By the way, have you ever noticed how you never see my MAGA rally people at my golf resorts? Obviously we can’t let them in because our wealthy members want to keep the riffraff out.
Yet my MAGAs love me because I loved and inspired and leveraged their hate to help me politically and also feed my fragile ego.
As my wonderful niece, Mary Trump, has made very clear, I really do have psychological issues to work on with a trained professional, and not work out by being president.
So when I say, “my fellow Americans,” I try to mean more than my white, Confederate flag-waving male base with scraggly beards and the wealthy Republicans who take advantage of the ignorant crackers to reduce their taxes and regulations to get richer.
As president, I was supposed to represent all the red, white and blue and purple and Black and brown and yellow Americans and every color on the LGBTQ-plus rainbow flag or how anyone identifies.
I didn’t. As you know.
So to everyone I hurt, I’m here to say: I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for all the hateful, racist, misogynist, nativist and other divisive stuff I said and did that inspired white supremacists and other haters.
I’m sorry for attacking the professional media and journalists as the “enemy of the state” and “fake news” when they were just doing their Constitutional job of holding the president and political power accountable.
I’m sorry for conspiring with the right-wing media, who are boot-licking political propagandists, not journalists, to fool and sucker their Trump audience for me and money.
I knew Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Lou Dobbs, Fox & Friends, Maria Bartiromo and the other Fox Proud Boys didn’t have a shred of morals or shame so they gladly would parrot my talking points, or give me some of theirs. I took advantage of that. I’m sorry.
And I’m really, really sorry about how I helped to kill 230,000 of my fellow Americans and sicken a million more by denying the science, smearing the great Dr. Anthony Fauci, and spreading the Covid.
I even tried to kill healthcare for 23 million Americans during an historic, deadly pandemic and never delivered the better, cheaper plan I promised because I never had one. Sorry for that too.
I know, my fellow Americans, you’re probably sitting there in shock. Trump said he’s sorry? He never says he’s sorry for anything because he’s strong and also infallible, like the Pope! That’s got to be liberal fake news or alternate facts.
But it’s true news and actual facts. You heard it right from me. Trump is sorry for everything.
On the brighter side, you have to admit Trump made this presidential race the greatest in American history.
I inspired millions of Americans to vote.
Black, white, Latino and racist.
White suburban women who fear low-income neighbors.
Nasty, monster, elite urban feminist women, white or POCs, who don’t like to be grabbed and don’t think the government should dictate reproduction.
New immigrants, whether legal or illegal or seeking asylum with kids in cages, who come to America for freedom, jobs and opportunity.
Older immigrants, like many of our parents or grandparents, who came to America from Europe for the same reasons.
Hard-working farmers who I ruined with my xenophobic trade wars.
Urban coastal elites, the BLM people and the Antifas in the cities that Fox and I exaggerated and lied were in flames to frighten my base that’s pretty much never been to a city.
Democrat liberals who respect science and responsibly mailed or dropped off their ballots to avoid spreading the Covid.
MAGAs who reject science because I told them to, and turned out on Election Day like they do at my rallies, spreading the Covid to their communities.
Americans turned out in historic droves in spite of the millions of dollars my campaign and the Republican Party spent to stop and block and challenge votes we didn’t like … in spite of all my governors who made voting harder … and in spite of the efforts of my Trumpers to intimidate our fellow Americans away from voting.
My fellow Americans, I am proud of how many of you I inspired to vote. Even if the biggest popular vote margin in history was against me. People are saying I’m the greatest president ever when it comes to opposition.
There’s no doubt I’ve been the best president ever when it comes to tweeting.
And then America tweeted back, “YOU’RE FIRED! In all caps. You can’t go bigger than all caps.
I hate to admit it. It’s hard for me to concede. I have never been a quitter. That’s because I’ve never been a loser. Always a winner. Even if I had to screw over many, many people who trusted Trump.
I’m even a sore winner if anyone says I didn’t win bigly enough. Like when I was elected president.
But once again, the American people have spoken, and I will go more gracefully than any president in history. Nobody loses better than Trump.
So on behalf of Melania, Ivanka, Jared, Donald Junior, Eric, Barron and me himself, and also what’s her name, oh, right, Tiffany, I want to congratulate Old Creepy Sleepy Demented Slurring Joe, his feminista wife Jill Biden, and the billionaire chairman of Burisma who the left media refuses to investigate, Hunter Biden.
But only if Joe promises to pardon me. And I don’t mean “pardon me for leaving the White House and America in worse shape.”
The liberal government lawyers are closing in on me, and if you really want uniting and healing, Joe, you’ll do this for me and my Trump people.
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.