Losing my MAGA religion
Fool me 20 times …
Jeffrey Denny
I voted for Trump three times in real life and a thousand times in my fantasy life to own the libs.
And all I got was this lousy betrayal.
Mr. President, I always loved how you screwed people, especially those who were loyal to you. Until it came around to me. Sorry, but I need to toss my MAGA cap into your Mar-a-Lago dumpster. Let me count the ways I no longer love thee:
Egg prices
Even though my cardiologist has me on Mung Bean Egg Beaters®, I’m still pissed that you failed your Day One pledge to reduce the cost of Biden eggs, which were driving real hardworking Americans into poverty like Sudanese refugees.
Instead, you spiked egg prices on Day 44 to $8 a dozen. You reduced the sticker shock to around $3 today, but only after RFK, Jr., banned NIH from making an avian flu vaccination because it put chickens on the spectrum. But your egg prices are still higher than the $2 a dozen under Biden last October.
Gas prices
After the weak, pathetic Biden plummeted historic gas prices from $2.50 a gallon to $1.90 last September, you’ve raised them over 20% to $2.30 on June 19!
(Speaking of which, you failed to abolish Juneteenth as a federal holiday to obliterate DEI racism, and besides, every day is a holiday for government workers.)
And we all know your attack on Iran will spike gas prices. Just as summer comes and I’m taking my family on the road in our 6 MPG RV. You destroyed my dream of buying an affordable EV Winnebago by taking away my hard-earned tax breaks.
Retirement savings
Don’t get me started. Your trade war and other chaos cut my stock portfolio by over 30%.
You claimed you’re such a brilliant businessman that the stock market loves. But after you surrendered the White House like a coward and handed Biden a 30,000 Dow, he boosted it to a record 45,000 during his last full month in office. Then you took it down to 37,000 in April. Now it’s still only at 43,000.
Watching you roller-coaster my retirement funds, I need Medicare to pay for cervical fusion surgery. And now you’re threatening my Medicare and my Social Security!
Immigration
First, you raise prices with your trade war and tell me to suck it up and buy less stuff.
Now you’re increasing my cost of living by deporting factory and farm workers who work hard doing crap jobs for crap pay.
Yes, I think it’s outrageous if immigrants are here without the right government paperwork, even if we both hate the government and its paperwork. They should go back and do immigration right, like I know my grandparents did, even if I’ve never seen their paperwork to prove it, like I demanded Obama do.
But I need my amazing guy, Carlos, to take care of my house and yard for a lot less than any white guy would do it. And at Carlos’ prices, why would I do it myself?
I also don’t love seeing how your creepy Nazi guy is stripping innocent people of their basic human rights and treating them like criminals. That could be Carlos or his family! Or maybe me someday!
Fiscal responsibility
Your Big Beautiful Bill will add $3.8 trillion to the current $36 trillion in debt? Are you serious? I thought the Democrats were the big irresponsible spenders!
Welfare
I don’t believe what the liberals say, that white people get more welfare than DEI people. But I have sick friends and family members on Medicaid, and if you make them work for it, they’ll die.
Warmongering
I thought you said we’re not doing foreign wars anymore? You know, America First? And we’re doing this for … Israel? I thought you were a real Christian who has a problem with the Jews, especially the radical left-wing lunatics who run the media and Hollywood.
And didn’t you call the Unite the Right that chanted “Jews will not replace us” at Charlottesville “good people”?
I’m done being MAGA. As the Proud Boys said about your Iran bombing, fuck this shit.
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.
