Next on Trump’s Executive Order target list
Running out of rants
Jeffrey Denny
So Joe Biden secretly, scandalously suffered senescent senility while serving in office. Big deal.
At least he didn’t sign over 150 executive orders to destroy everything that grumpy old white men usually merely rant about. Liberals. Minorities. Immigrants. Tree huggers. Foreigners. East Coast elites. Welfare queens. Protestors. Prices. Modern culture. The media. Radical leftist Anti-American Socialist Marxist college professors indoctrinating our kids. And, kids nowadays.
You name the rant, Donald Grump is revenging and retributing it. Unfortunately for America, he’s running out of big diatribes. White House sources say Stephen Miller is already drafting the next tranche of Truth Social posts and Executive Orders to outlaw smaller irritants that his base of cranky old MAGAs are shaking their canes at:
Drivers who don’t use turn signals
Many people are saying these are VERY VERY SICK PATHETIC LOSERS!!! THAT THING STICKING OUT OF THE LEFT SIDE OF THE STEERING WHEEL IS THERE FOR A REASON!!! USE IT MORON!!!!
Starbucks baristas
These warped radical left lunatics with their NASTY DISGRACEFUL piercings and tattoos need to STOP calling coffee sizes Demi, Short, Tall, Grande, Venti and Trenta!!!! GO BACK TO AMERICAN SMALL MEDIUM AND LARGE!!!! NO I’M NOT JAYDEN!!!!! THAT’S NOT MY ICED RISTRETTO 10 SHOT VENTY WITH BREVE 5 PUMP VANILLA 7 PUMP CARAMEL 4 SPLENDA POURED NOT SHAKEN!!!! GIVE ME A SMALL BLACK AND I DON’T MEAN SAMMY DAVIS JUNIOR, PUNK!!!!
Waiters who ask, “Are you still working on that?”
THEY’RE MENTALLY INSANE CRIMINAL SCUM TRYING TO DESTROY OUR DINNERS!!! I’M EATING MY FOOD, NOT WORKING ON IT!!!!! AND NO I’M NOT FINISHED!!!! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE CLOSING!!!!! THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!
Kids who say “no problem” when you thank them
OF COURSE IT’S NO PROBLEM!!!! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO YOU’RE WELCOME??? HOPEFULLY THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT, AND OTHER GOOD AND COMPASSIONATE JUDGES THROUGHOUT THE LAND, WILL SAVE US FROM THE RUDENESS OF THESE MONSTERS WHO WANT OUR COUNTRY TO GO TO HELL.
iPads at self-checkout asking for tips
HOAX!!! A VERY BAD DEAL!!!! VERY VERY UNFAIR!!!! CROOKED AS CAN BE!!!! RIDICULOUS!!!! AN EMBARRASSMENT TO OUR COUNTRY AND DEMOCRACY!!!! A CURSE ON THE US AND ITS PEOPLE!!!!! NEVER BEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!!
The post office, bank, grocery, and drugstore
WRONG SO OFTEN!!! STUPID MORON LOSERS DON’T HAVE A CLUE!!!! DERELICT IN THEIR DUTIES!!!!! FAIL TO ACT!!!! PATHETIC, SLOW MOVING!!!! RIDICULOUS POLICIES!!! THEIR OWN WORST ENEMIES!!!! BONEHEADS!!!
Bingo night at the senior center
RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! RIGGED!!!! LIKE WE’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!!!!
Department of Motor Vehicles
Americans are sitting there all day to contest a COMPLETELY UNFAIR parking ticket WHILE USA HATING JUDGES WHO SUFFER FROM AN IDEOLOGY THAT IS SICK AND VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR COUNTRY ARE ON A MISSION TO KEEP MURDERERS, DRUG DEALERS, RAPISTS, GANG MEMBERS, AND RELEASED PRISONERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN OUR COUNTRY SO THEY CAN ROB, MURDER, AND RAPE AGAIN!!!!!!
When the media uses “impact” as a verb
FAKE NEWS!!! WRONG AND TOTALLY RIDICULOUS!!!! THESE PEOPLE ARE SICK!!!!! TOTALLY DISCREDITED ZERO CREDIBILITY DYING ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE!!!! MAKING A VICIOUS AND PURPOSEFUL MISTAKE!!!!! FINALLY EXPOSED AS GARBAGE JOURNALISM!!!!! SO BAD!!!!!!
Saturday Night Live*
NOT FUNNY EXCEPT WHEN I WAS ON!!! NO TALENT OR CHARM!!! THE CAST IS TERRIBLE!!! SPEND ALL OF THEIR TIME KNOCKING THE SAME PERSON (ME), OVER & OVER, WITHOUT SO MUCH OF A MENTION OF “THE OTHER SIDE”!!!! TIRED!!! TOTAL REPUBLICAN HIT JOB!!! DEMOCRAT SPIN MACHINE!!! SAD!!! BORING!!!
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.
*Trump actually tweeted these.
