Other 2023 House Republican majority investigations

Revenge is a dish best served grilled like Democrat witnesses before the new House GOP Un-American Activities Committee

Jeffrey Denny

Rage addicts, left and right, can’t wait for the MAGA-enslaved Republicans to sunder their morals, self-respect, oath of office and the Constitution as they settle into the House majority.

The MAGA-cowed confederacy of GOP dunces is already drooling to take delicious revenge on the America-hating Socialist Democrats.

What other choice do House Republicans have? They have no actual policy agenda to Make America Greater Again. They know MAGAs hate policy because it’s complicated — hence, stupid — as policymakers strive to satisfy 320 million different Americans.

So the Kevin or whatever Joe McCarthy House needs to go all-out Kill Bill Vol. 1, 2 and 3 on the Democrats, who have it coming to them. You know, for:

Disgracefully imposing law and order on a lawless and disordered president;
Doing their Constitutional duty asserting Constitutional checks and balances to deter a regal mobocracy president; and,
Laying out the indisputable facts about Trump’s historically dangerous, damaging, and dictatorially impeachable abuse of power, obstruction of Congress, and incitement of insurrection.

The challenge/opportunity for the House GOP is not if to bring fake investigations that excite the MAGA internet, but how many. As everyone knows, men can’t multitask.

So what’s the over and under for the incoming House GOP? Five Benghazis? Ten? Twenty?

We know House Republicans will do whatever to attract and satisfy Fox audiences, like a rutting male fox seeks to mate via vocalizations.

Further suckering their MAGA marks, such as obsessing about Hunter Biden’s laptop and impeaching Biden for whatever is on the Republicans’ Ruth’s Chris steakhouse red-meat menu.

But in the course of the slammed Congressional calendar, a few House Republican investigations might need to be back-burnered:

How many Democrats lied about their resumes, like the poor Democrat-smeared Republican George Santos, and still got seated in Congress?

Every one of them, according to Fox News and all MAGA internet sources and comments.

Democrats are, by nature, liars. Yet the former horrible House Speaker Nancy Pelosi — the biggest liar ever — seated lying Democrats all the time.

Santos and his GOP defenders have rightfully normalized lying. After all, the Democrat MSM lies like an anti-Christian Muslim prayer rug.

Why are electric cars a thing?

What vast global conspiracy of George Soros U.N. Greenpeace Greta Thunberg Joe Biden Euro-Global Socialists are making America’s proud Japanese and German factory job-creating auto industry switch from making real American gasoline-powered 12 mpg trucks? And making gasoline cost too much so we’re forced to switch to Socialist hybrids and EVs?

What is this climate hoax, anyway?

The unusually violent deadly weather, floods and fires destroying our homes and communities are normal and God’s will but hyped by lying liberals, according to real Christian Americans who believe in real facts from well-oiled petroleum industry PR truthers, lobbyists and politicians.

How can government cancel the liberal cancel culture?

While protecting real American MAGA Republican culture-canceling to protect our precious innocent children from liberal books, knowledge, and reality?

What ugly, cynical, MAGA-rousing Karl Rove/Roger Stone/Steve Bannon dirt can we dig up, invent or insinuate to smear J6 committee members, not just Democrats but anti-Trump turncoat Republicans?

Like starving feral packs of dogs, MAGAs will gobble up any disgusting chow we put out and Tucker Carlson regurgitates.

Watching people disgrace themselves to grub for audience, power and money is naughty fun for real Americans. That’s why we love reality TV. And the Kardashians. And Gen Z “influencers.”

Stay tuned for a fresh new season of Real Republicans of Washington, DC.

Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.