Ten ways to deal with gloating Trumpers
Have fun with fragility
In this, the holiday season of peace, love and understanding, let’s not react to sore winners who take nasty delight in rubbing Donald Trump’s reelection our faces.
Like Philly Eagles fans, considered the NFL’s most obnoxious, MAGAs exult with pride and jeer the defeated while having little to do with the win.
Yes, it’s painful. But let it go. Be best. Don’t react. Deny them their tiny-hearted Grinchy pleasure.
Dig deep to summon your empathy power to send thoughts and prayers. Bullies are sad, damaged people suffering from debilitating insecurity and love to rile others in a desperate need to salve and validate their self worth.
They cannot be expected to summon the basic decency and healthy emotions to win with grace. Or certainly to lose gracefully, as we saw on J6.
These folks are not Roger Federer.
And remember: Hurt people hurt people.
Like when the incumbent president posted just before Thanksgiving to incite his MAGAs to cheer and sneer at family and friends, “Happy Thanksgiving to all, including to the Radical Left Lunatics who have worked so hard to destroy our Country, but who have miserably failed.”
But even while you namaste, you can still have a little Santa-approved naughty fun gaslighting hardcore Trumpers when they act out:
1. Applaud Biden’s pardon of his son
Then sit back and enjoy as they twist their knickers, the facts and logic to claim it’s much, much worse than Trump’s pardons of his criminal kin and cronies and how Biden, not Trump, undermined democracy and the rule of law.
2. Pretend you also hate immigrants, minorities and trans
Haters say the darndest things in their safe spaces.
On immigration, if they live in Alabama, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Mississippi or West Virginia, states with the lowest level of immigrants at 1.8% to 3.8%, ask how the border crisis has affected them enough to get riled and vote about it. Note these states are also among the whitest.
Also ask how DEI, trans rights or urban crime have affected them personally. Or how many books they read in the libraries they’re censoring.
3. Mention how Biden doubled your 401(k) wealth
Note that in 2020, Trump warned the stock market would crash if he lost to Biden. But instead it rose around 50% to a record high while the jobless rate fell to its lowest in 50 years.
Say that, in effect, Bidenomics is paying for the lavish holiday spread and booze you laid out and they’re enjoying.
4. Talk about how Biden whipped Trump’s inflation
When they spit-take their eggnog, show them this meme: “The Biden economy is so bad we just broke Black Friday records online, airports are packed, grocery stores are packed, and America is gearing up for one of the biggest holiday seasons ever … What terrible times we are living in.”
5. Swear on the Bible you get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth from MSNBC
As their head spins like Fox News guests spewing Trump propaganda, explain how unlike Fox, MSNBC is fair and balanced, they report, you decide, it’s most watched, most trusted, it’s real news, real honest, and it stands up for what’s right. And it beat Fox going into the election.
6. Say the Biden/Harris BLM “Defund the Police” movement actually reduced crime
As Trumpers reach for their defibrillators, cite FBI stats that whites are arrested more often for violent crimes than nonwhites.
Then say persistent, systemic white racism is to blame for urban crime. Cite critical race theory and how the The New York Times 1619 Project should be taught in schools. White children — especially Southern — need to be indoctrinated to hate themselves because their great great great great grandpa was not all that great as he enslaved people to enrich their families for generations.
7. Keeping a completely Botox straight face, say your investigation proves Trump stole the 2024 election
Say you don’t care if claims of rampant Trump election fraud are proven false, it’s what you believe and independent sources from your internet research back it up.
You also discovered this bombshell: It was Trump, not George Soros, who sent Antifa, BLM, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and other radical left-wing lunatics to false-flag the peaceful patriotic J6 riot.
Enjoy watching their faces twist like Twizzlers to wend the conspiracy and comprehend the implications. Then say, “Never mind, sorry, you’ll never get what’s really going on.”
8. Refuse to say “Merry Christmas”
Say it’s racist, commits genocidal emotional violence against innocent children, and Christmas is feeding corporate greed, rampant consumerism and climate change.
Note that you prefer, “Seasonal Festive Kwanzaa Hanukkah Bodhi Day of the Virgin of Guadalupe Pancha Ganapati Wishes And Spirit of Diversity, Equity, Inclusivity, Engagement and Sense of Belonging For All Plants, Animals and Persons of Humanity, However They Identify, from the River to the Sea.”
Follow with how God doesn’t exist and Jesus was just a homeless Black dude who wasn’t even born, baptized or raised Christian. In fact, the internet says he was a Jewish atheist who didn’t even believe in himself.
9. Decline to talk politics
As winners, Trumpers will try, and they’ll try, and they’ll try, and they’ll try. But they can’t get no satisfaction if you shift the conversation to the latest hit streaming series.
Start with, “I can’t believe [seemingly bad person] did that to [seemingly good person]. But then good was bad and bad was good and the tables were turned again and again with so many plot twists, cliff hangers and surprising reveals I did not see coming.” That should cover most series.
10. Laugh
Roll on the floor until your ass falls off, if it helps. After all, ’tis the season of merriment.
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.
