Throw Trumpsters from the Train?
A modest proposal for this pandemic
Jeffrey Denny
God bless President Trump and his right-wing media parrots that say we should rebirth our economy from the coronacrisis by Easter, like Jesus reborn Himself.
But please God, help me understand Trump’s brilliant plan to let older Americans who fought, struggled and survived the 1918 pandemic, the Great Depression, two World Wars, the Korean and Vietnam Wars, many Republican recessions, and now his “presidency,” die sooner. Just so His Excellency can be reelected and make America even more not greater.
If Trump & Co. truly believe older Americans should sacrifice further for good of the country, perhaps they could start with … themselves?
Trump is 73. Vice President Mike Pence is 60. Attorney General William Barr is 69. Trump’s Commerce Secretary, Wilbur Ross, aka, “Nosferatu,” is going on 175 or forever, give or take. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is 78. The average age of House and Senate Republicans who bend a knee for Trump is … not so young. Look it up.
As for Trump’s sock-puppet boot-licking echo-chamber media choir: Trump Medal of Freedom national hero Rush Limbaugh, who is definitely as respectable as his fellow recipients Desmond Tutu and Mother Theresa for his cleverly mean, nasty, ugly bloviations, is 69.
Classic Washington swamp multimillionaire creature Newt Gingrich, who impeached President Bill Clinton for his disgusting immorality but blithely cheated on his first two of three wives, asked one for an “open marriage” and argued divorce terms in her cancer-surgery hospital room, is 76.
Trump’s Fox “friend with benefits” Steve Doocy is 63. Also, Lou Dobbs is 74, Sean Hannity is 58 and Laura Ingraham is 56.
Tucker Carlson is a tender veal-ish 50, only whiter and more disturbing than what happens before veal comes to his plate at posh DC restaurants he frequents near his $4 million, 7,400 SF DC mansion, with five bedrooms and six and a half baths, while he speaks with high dudgeon for real hardworking Americans.
The vast majority of Trump supporters — from red-hat MAGAs to blue-blood Republicans — are older.
It’s old news that Trump trounced Hillary Clinton among voters 65 and older, the Grand Old Party skews older, and his approval ratings among older Americans are the highest of any age.
No surprise, the median age of Fox News viewers is 65. “If you go by raw numbers, of the 3.3 million households taking in Sean Hannity’s show on a nightly basis in 2018, just south of 2 million would have been senior citizens,” according to Cheatsheet.com.
Count me among the first to honor and appreciate our aging Trump Americans who must now suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous liberals on CNN and MSNBC.
So let me ask, rhetorically and overusing punctuation because my words fail, why would Trump want his own people to die?!?!?!?!?
Yet nothing about Trump’s Darwinian “Lord of the Flies,” dog-eat-dog, man’s-inhumanity-to-man morality tale is new or surprising.
Senicide and geronticide —abandoning the elderly to die already for chrissake — have been around for as long as human cruelty. The Eskimos supposedly cast off their elderly onto ice floes, which are now sunny, warm and sinking, like Florida.
Today’s elders face disrespectful nursing home staff, Medicare scam telemarketers, Tom Selleck pitching reverse mortgages, CVS self-checkout, iPhone apps that aren’t intuitive, Millennial grandchildren who never call because they prefer to text, and Diamond Princess luxury cruise ships where the “free” buffet jumbo shrimp aren’t really so jumbo and you’re imprisoned for weeks offshore with the 2020 Flu.
This coronacrisis certainly is not our first rodeo inspiring humanity’s worst impulses.
In 1729, when “old” was 40 and a medieval plague wracked Europe, Dr. Jonathan Swift offered a “modest proposal” that was much smarter than whatever this fake Dr. Tony Fauci is saying: The old rich, like Trump’s country club Republicans today, should eat poor children.
Somewhat later amid the French famine, pre-social media influencer Marie-Antoinette posted, “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche.” She was with her besties at brunch and meant “try the brioche — it’s to die for.” But typically, the lying despicable liberal mainstream 1%’er-hating media took her comment out of context as “let them eat cake.” Read the transcript.
In our Covid-19 times, I’ll give a bigly 👍👌😍 ✌💕 when Trump has his tremendous beautiful chefs render and prepare Ivanka and Jared, Eric, Don Jr., and even more tender and less grasping Barron, for the kingliest feast ever. Before his deviously plotting children and much younger wife throw him from the train. Great presidents always sacrifice bigly for the good of America.
Forgive me if this piece seems a bit Rush Limbaugh-ly.
In these trying times, I don’t want to be as mean, nasty or ugly in my commentary as a Trump Medal of Freedom winner. I may have a touch of the “Covid Crazies.”
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.
