I love my neighborhood Yahoo listserv. It’s very polite and helpful with answers to questions, information, recommendations and things for sale or giveaway.
Here’s a sample just from this afternoon:
· For sale: 36” Sony Trinitron TV, 1998 model, hasn’t worked in years (caught on fire). $50 firm. Bring a friend and a pickup, as it’s huge and weighs 100 lbs.
· Early this morning a guy was blowing leaves outside my window with a loud, gas-powered blower, filling the air with noxious fumes, atomized leaves, mold and dried dog feces, and contributing to climate change. I crept up behind him and brained him with a shovel. He’s lying on the ground twitching. Should I call 9–11 or leave him there as a warning to others?
· Does anyone know where I can get a gallon of milk? I was thinking the grocery store, but before I leave the house I want to make sure. Thank you.
· FedEx once again has mis-delivered an important package I need before Halloween. Did anyone receive a mid-sized box with 20,000 live and loose spiders? If so, I can come and pick it up. Don’t worry if some escaped. I’m also waiting for a box of live copperheads in case anyone receives that.
· For sale: Two white, broken Ikea bookshelves from when I was in college 20 years ago. Paid $50 but will take $45 firm.
· I found out whose car alarm has been going off for the last 72 hours. It’s mine. Thank you everyone for all the helpful notes you put on my car.
· Looking for responsible, loving, in-home dog-sitter with a calm, assertive, attentive nature to take care of an untrained and vicious 120-lb. Rottweiler while we’re in Tuscany for two weeks. References and proof of life and health insurance please. Absolutely no lawyers.
· Many people on this listserv have asked for recommendations for a great local painless dentist who takes AARP Medicare supplement plans. May I suggest you avoid Orin Scrivello, DDS, who confused me with another patient and pulled all my teeth?
· I haven’t gotten my newspaper for a month now. I called and they kept putting me on hold. Has this happened to anyone else? Do I need to subscribe?
· Did anyone find a Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Learning Puppy stuffed animal on the street? My beautiful, sweet, normally happy 2-year-old who loves playing its over 40 songs that teach children lots of colors and phrases is inconsolable after I finally threw it out of the car window.
· Responsible, loving, in-home dog-sitter with a calm, assertive, attentive nature is seeking an aggressive personal injury lawyer regarding an incident with a Rottweiler.
· For anyone searching for a good orthopedist who takes Blue Cross Blue Shield, I would bend over backwards (no pun intended) to recommend Dr. Mayku Lhymbr.
· Collection of old joke books available. Serious inquiries only.
· Affordable basement apartment for rent in town near metro, restaurants. No phone, no lights, no parking for motorcar, not a single luxury. Like Robinson Crusoe, it’s primitive as can be. $2,500/month. Call 202/795–1579 and ask for Gilligan.
· For Halloween, my 10-year-old son wants to go as Sean Hannity or Tucker Carlson. He’s a big fan. Does anyone know a good child or family therapist who takes Blue Cross Blue Shield?
· Free: Enormous piles of old newspapers, magazines and paperbacks, piles of old toys, broken appliances, old clothes Goodwill doesn’t want, stained, worn out or busted furniture, dishes, pots and pans we stopped using 20 years ago, obscure cassette and 8-track tapes and players, old lawnmowers, dried-up cans of paint and other junk. Come on into our garage and take them off our hands.
· I just heard that a big developer wants to build a mixed-use complex with affordable apartments, restaurants, a new grocery store and pharmacy, and other retail this neighborhood desperately needs. Nevertheless, I’m thinking, “Not in my backyard!” Does that make me a NIMBY?
· Help! We’re very proud of our brilliant son, and we put one of those “My Child is an Honor Roll Student” bumper stickers on our car. The problem is, we have three other kids who didn’t make the honor roll and probably never will. Does anyone know a good child or family therapist who takes Blue Cross Blue Shield?
· Responding to an earlier post, in my experience you can get milk at any grocery store, 7–11, bodega and even some gas stations. Many grocery stores will deliver it right to your door. Good luck!
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer