The clap heard ‘round the world

Trump: Come together, right now, over me, you stupid losers.

Jeffrey Denny

President Trump in his State of the Union address called on Congress to “reject the politics of revenge, resistance and retribution.”

As a great leader, Trump urged bipartisan unity to “govern not as two parties but as one nation.”

Previously on “The Presidential Apprentice,” Trump laid the groundwork for Congressional Democrats to have little choice but to bury the hatchet and line up behind him. The Democrats finally are succumbing to the president’s infectious charm offensive that included affectionate accolades tweeted from his heart. Here’s a sample:

Sen. Tammy Baldwin: “Someone who has done very little.”

Sen. Richard Blumenthal: “Total Phony” “A total Fake!” “Loser!” “A joke.”

Sen. Cory Booker: “If Cory Booker is the future of the Democratic Party, they have no future.” “I know more about Cory than he knows about himself.”

Sen. Ben Cardin: “It’s politicians like Cardin that have destroyed Baltimore.”

Sen. Bob Casey: “A do-nothing Senator who only shows up at election time.”

Sen. Dianne Feinstein: “Very disrespectful.” “Sneaky Dianne Feinstein.” “a disgrace.”

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand: “Lightweight.” “A total flunky for Chuck Schumer.” “Someone who would come to my office ‘begging’ for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them).”

Sen. Doug Jones: “weak on Crime, Military and Illegal Immigration.” “Bad for Gun Owners and Veterans.” “A Pelosi/Schumer Puppet.” “WANTS TO RAISE TAXES TO THE SKY.” “Would be BAD!” “Would be a disaster!”

Former vice presidential nominee and Sen. Tim Kaine: “a total stiff.” “a joke!” “in the pocket of Wall Street.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: “Will Make America Weak Again!” “trying very hard and has every right to take down the Democrat Party.” “want to protect illegal immigrants far more than the citizens of our country.” “going absolutely crazy.”

Former presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders: “Crazy Bernie.” “Disaster!” “Did Bernie go home and go to sleep?” “he just wants to shut down and go home to bed!” “has lost his energy and his strength.” “flamed out.” “exhausted.” “SAD!” “wacko.” “Very sad!”

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff: “little Adam Schitt.” “Liddle Adam Schiff.” “the leakin’ monster of no control.” “Sleazy.”

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer: “Cryin’ Chuck.” “Cryin’ Chuck.” “Cryin Chuck.” “Cryin’ Chuck.” “High Tax Schumer.” “Cryin’ Chuck Schumer.” “Cryin’ Chuck.” “Cryin’ Chuck.” “Cryin’ Chuck.” “Cryin’ Chuck.” “total hypocrite!” “Fake Tears Chuck Schumer.” “Clown.”

Sen. Debbie Stabenow: “Schumer Puppet” “who does nothing for Michigan!” “controlled by her bosses.”

Sen. Jon Tester: “will vote with Cryin’ Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi — never with us!” “Says one thing to voters and does the EXACT OPPOSITE in Washington.” “Wants to raise your taxes, take away your 2A, open your borders, and deliver MOB RULE.” “Very dishonest and sick.”

Sen. Mark Warner: “in a near drunken state.” “one of the biggest liars and leakers in Washington.”

Sen. Elizabeth Warren: “Pocahontas.” “Pocahontas.” “Pocahontas.” “Pocahontas.” “Pocahontas.” “Pocahontas.” “Pocahontas.” “Pocahontas.” “Phony!” “Fraud.” “Very racist!” “has a nasty mouth.” “All talk, no action!” “Total hypocrite!” “lowlife!”

Also, “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.” “Goofy.”

Clearly Trump prefers the cock-fighting art of the $multi-billion Manhattan commercial real estate deal over the consensus-building art of American politics.

Trump’s not doing the legendary LBJ bear-hugging, arm-twisting, wheedling, sucking up, trading, persuasion and other basics of retail democracy to wrangle votes, bridge partisan divides to win consensus, and get things done for America.

You know, the kind of stuff that Republican Abe Lincoln and most successful presidents did too.

Trump thinks that real political leadership today means pandering to a dwindling base of supporters and using the POTUS bully pulpit to bully the rest of America and its elected representatives.


But what if Trump’s political strategy works — insult people and then demand they cooperate, and if they don’t, criticize them for being unreasonable and divisive?

Imagine if we tried this at work:

Me (to boss): Where’s my big promotion and raise, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! I delight in quoting Monty Python insults to your pig-dog face!

Boss: What?! How dare you? Why should I give you a promotion and raise? You should be fired! Your numbers and reviews are awful, you’re terrible at your job, most people here hate you, and you constantly insult me in public!

Me: You’re saying you don’t want to collaborate? I thought collaboration was one of the company’s core values and success factors, you sad goofy loser phony fake joke! HR would be very interested to hear how you don’t want to collaborate, you son of a silly person.

Now, “boss,” before you go away or I will taunt you a second time, how would you like to collaborate on my fat bonus and new title?

Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.

(Thanks to The New York Times “551 People, Places and Things Donald Trump Has Insulted on Twitter: A Complete List.”)



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Jeffrey Denny

Jeffrey Denny

A Pullet Surprise-winning writer who always appreciates free chicken.