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Business Insider/AP Photo/John Locher

Trump crime spree goes Off Fifth

President runs wild with license to kill

Trump has blanket immunity even if he shoots someone on Fifth Avenue, his lawyer says — headline, New York Post, Oct. 23, 2019

Emboldened by the Senate’s exoneration after his House impeachment, President Donald Trump continued testing his powerful Constitutional immunity and Republican support by launching a nationwide crime spree after making good on his threat to shoot someone on Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue in New York City.

In the Fifth Avenue incident, police say Trump stepped from a limousine, pulled out a golden pistol, and shot at point blank what appeared to be a progressive art student who was emerging from the Guggenheim Museum.

The victim was thin, wearing all black, had multiple tattoos and was of uncertain race, culture or gender. Police on the scene say he or she or they or zie survived the shooting and appeared “woke.”

Noting the alleged Trump victim had just toured the Guggenheim’s latest exhibits, “Implicit Tensions: Mapplethorpe Now,” and “Basquiat’s ‘Defacement’: The Untold Story,” Fox News personality Laura Ingraham said the individual “definitely had it coming.”

Trump crimes mount

Since the Fifth Avenue shooting, authorities have been piecing together what they suspect is an escalating series of Trump crimes.

Allegations include securities and mail fraud, aircraft hijacking and carjacking, kidnapping, burglary, bank robbery, credit card fraud, identity theft, computer crimes, federal hate crimes, racketeering, obscenity, murder most foul, tax evasion, counterfeiting, incitement and hair crimes.

A lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Manhattan also claims Trump always wins at Cards Against Humanity because he cheats or bullies people so they let him win.

While the Senate approved the president’s use of public office for private gain in the Ukraine quid pro quo matter, investigators continue sorting through mounds of evidence piling up daily that Trump routinely violates the Constitution’s rule of law and checks and balances, and also the Emoluments Clause.

Sources including the vast majority of Americans also say Trump has degraded the Office of the Presidency and basic decency and decorum, undermined America’s democracy and world leadership, divided Americans against each other, and inspired hate against the less fortunate.

Yet Trump has been cheered by the top and only truthful news media, Fox, as well as Republican lawmakers frightened by his dwindling supporters who chant at his rallies and rant online. Evangelical Christians have blessed Trump’s crimes and quote Bible passages suggesting that’s what Jesus would do.

Rampage in Nashville

White House sources say Trump is ramping up his criminal activity just to prove he’s above the law and prank Democrats and the professional media.

According to an account by reporter Michael Darling:

“Authorities believe he recently arrived in Nashville, Tennessee, on a Greyhound Bus, at 3 am. Learning the next bus out of town wasn’t until noon, he allegedly decided to make the most of his layover in Nashville.

“First, he broke into a closed haunted house attraction and stole a t-shirt, taser, revolver, and shotgun. Upon exiting the haunted house, he shot at the building and then set it on fire. From there, he made his way to a bar and robbed its patrons. He also pistol whipped one and tased another.

“Five minutes after leaving the bar, he carjacked a cab and spent $200 of stolen cash at a Walmart. Around 6 am, he headed to the downtown Hotel Indigo, where he broke into a downtown law office and spread his feces on several framed law degrees.

“While still at the hotel, he decided to impersonate a female housekeeper and went door to door looking for someone to rob. Eventually, he stole $600 at gunpoint from a Canadian couple. He allegedly was crying during the entire robbery.

“And at some point while he was in the hotel, he took the time to shave his head bald.

“By 9 am, authorities say, he had crashed his stolen cab into the wall of a parking garage, and around 11:30 am he hailed another taxi. He held the driver at knife point and told him to drive to the Opry Mills shopping mall.

“When police found him at noon, he was hiding on top of the mall in a water-cooling vat with water up to his nose. It was unclear why.”

Observers note that Trump’s alleged Nashville rampage sounds exactly like that of notorious crime spree perpetrator William Todd in 2012.

Unlike Todd, Trump has blanket immunity as president and remains at large.

Where will Trump strike next?

Officials warn that as Trump’s reelection campaign heats up, he could appear anywhere in his electoral strongholds.

Liberals are advised to arm themselves with Super Soaker Water Blasters because they don’t believe in the Second Amendment that lets the president shoot them.

Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer

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