Well, excuuuuuse me!
Lovin’ the Biden pardon
Jeffrey Denny
Wait — what?!
The President of the United States pardoned a family member?!
The world’s leader, an upstanding model for our children, society, democracy and humanity, broke a promise? He … gasp … lied to the American people?
He selfishly undermined our justice system? Our faith in law and order? And the reputation of his party and millions of members? And his own legacy? And committed rank nepotism to privilege his notorious spawn like a Saudi oil king?
Yet despite these despicable travesties, America reelected him by a 1.5% margin that his party and official state media call an historic sweeping mandate landslide to rule America?
Hand me my smelling salts!
Yet the mushroom cloud rising over 1211 Avenue of the Americas in elite liberal midtown Manhattan was from Fox News HQ blowing up and melting down, shocked, shocked over Joe Biden’s terrible horrible no good very bad pardon of his abhorrent, abominable, appalling, awful son.
No wonder.
Biden fils was convicted of less than illegal campaign contributions, tax evasion, and witness tampering after hiring a prostitute to seduce his brother-in-law, arranging to record a sexual encounter between the two, and sending the tape to his sister. Like the former and future president’s pardoned son in law’s father committed.
But with an autocratic stroke of his presidential autopen, Joe Biden not only washed away his son’s mortal sins, shredded the Constitution and inspired convicted felons such as his predecessor and successor to do more crimes. He added insult to injury by not picking his pardoned family member as U.S. Ambassador to France, the best since our Founding Father Ben Franklin.
Biden’s abuse of power didn’t just outrage the Republican Party, America’s last bastion of truth, justice, decency and democracy that believes nobody is above the law.
It also touched off a torrent of clicking sounds from New York and Washington as elected Democrats and mainstream media pecksniffs attacked keyboards, clucked tongues and clutched pearls as they swooned into their fainting divans.
“There’s No Excuse for Mr. Biden’s Pardon,” The Washington Post editors huffed. The New York Times sniffed, “Biden’s Pardon for His Son Dishonors the Office.”
Biden’s loyal Democrats courageously piled on. “This was an improper use of power. It erodes trust in our government, and it emboldens others to bend justice to suit their interests.” “[A]s someone who wants people to believe in public service again, it’s a setback.” “Hunter committed felonies, and was convicted by a jury of his peers.” “This is a bad precedent that could be abused by later Presidents and will sadly tarnish his reputation.” “[It] further erodes Americans’ faith that the justice system is fair and equal for all.”
Biden’s absolution of his son is the latest in what critics say is the president’s extraordinary lack of abuse of pardon power, including not exonerating political cronies, distant family, and FBI, Antifa and BLM gangs hired by George Soros to attack the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021.
After flushing 50 years of tradition by refusing to endorse a 2024 presidential candidate — surely not in fear of retribution — to help democracy die in darkness, The Washington Post’s testicles briefly re-descended to tut-tut Biden for undermining his party’s moral high ground.
Yet to borrow from the great Sarah Palin, how’s that stuff working out for Democrats?
For Republicans triumphantly sneering, jeering and whatabouting, let us pray for them to heed the man they love almost as much their Dear Leader.
“Remove the wooden beam from your eye first,” Jesus said, “then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.”
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.
