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Who Said That?

Test your first-rate intelligence

Jeffrey Denny

F. Scott Fitzgerald declared the mark of true brilliance is the ability to handle cognitive dissonance.

Which means being able to “hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

You’re obviously intelligent. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this. But in case you wonder, match the following 12 quotes with who said them and see if you can still operate heavy machinery:

a. A pro-choice protestor who doesn’t want government bureaucrats dictating women’s health.

b. An anti-vax protestor who doesn’t want government bureaucrats dictating public health.

a. Trumpers who don’t want “our” vaccines going to Russia or China.

b. Trumpers who don’t want “our” vaccines.

a. A Covid denier who barely passed high school science.

b. A Covid denier with Covid in intensive care as doctors trained in science try to save his life.

a. A vax skeptic.

b. A vax skeptic who loves junk food that contains acrylamides, acrolein, heterocyclic amines, oxysterols, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, and advanced glycation end products.

a. The scientists who quickly developed the Covid vaccines, saving lives.

b. Anti-vaxxers diving into the rabbit hole of internet Covid misinformation and disinformation and sharing it on Facebook, causing death.

a. Bernie libs outraged by skyrocketing drug costs

b. Trumpy MAGAs outraged by free Covid vaccines.

a. Trumpers prior to the January 6 Capitol insurrection that attacked, beat and killed law enforcement.

b. No Trumpers during or after the January 6 Capitol insurrection that attacked, beat and killed law enforcement.

a. Trumpers who defend the Confederate flag and statues, which stand for violent insurrection to protect slavery.

b. Trumpers who say slavery was a long time ago, let it go, stop dredging up and teaching our racist history to make White children hate themselves.

a. Right-wingers outraged by liberals canceling haters.

b. Right-wingers canceling liberals for canceling them.

a. A female MSNBC commentator outraged by former president Trump’s abusive misogyny.

b. A female Fox commentator outraged by former governor Cuomo’s abusive misogyny.

a. Unschooled Second Amendment experts demanding complete gun freedom.

b. Unschooled Second Amendment experts blaming Black mayors for urban gun violence.

a. Republicans who say the mainstream media always lies because the #1 cable news source Fox says so.

b. Republicans who say the mainstream media tells the God’s truth when it breaks bad stories about Democrats.

Of course, as you knew all along, the answer to all 12 questions is “both.”

Congrats. You’re brilliant that way.

Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.